FRIENDS are the family that we choose. Friends are there with us during the fun and exciting times, as well as the tough, sad times. Friends understand who we are and accept us as we are. They are not afraid to tell us things we don’t want to hear. They celebrate us. They fight with us. They forgive us. They love us like family.
That’s why it’s important for us to surround ourselves with good friends. Good friends can really make a difference in our lives. They can help us emotionally – we can feel less stressed and happier. They celebrate our wins like it's their own and give us a shoulder to cry on when we need it.
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“National Make a Friend Day” is a day for us to celebrate friendship by meeting new people in hopes of forming new friendships. This day encourages us to step out of our comfort zones and initiate new bonds. By celebrating this day with our kids, we are teaching them about the beauty of friendship.
For some, making friends is easy. They enjoy meeting new people, easily approach others, and seamlessly make conversation. Whether it is a large, crowded environment, or a small intimate one, they will effortlessly make friends.
But for others, like me, it can be a very daunting process. Making friends can be very difficult. Inside, we may like to meet new people and want to make friends, but we are conflicted with feelings of nervousness and fear that make approaching new people hard.
Our nerves block our mind, and we don’t know what to say. We worry that when we speak, something may come out the wrong way and we will be laughed at. We want to be liked which adds more pressure on us.
For children who feel shy/social anxious, it is important for the adults in their lives to support and guide them. If they are given guidance earlier in life, then forming friendship in adulthood will be less stressful as they will have learned different ways to overcome their fears.
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So, how can we help children who are shy or social anxious?
My favorite way is to READ BOOKS!
Books are a wonderful gateway to teach children almost anything! Reading books about making friends and the importance of friendship is a great way to talk to your kids about this subject and get the conversation going with them about their struggles. Books will also help your children feel like they are not alone – they will see that others face the same difficulties they do - whether it's having trouble making friends or fighting with their best friend. (Trust me – as a shy individua myself, I feel like everyone around me finds it easy to make friends.)
Books will also help you come up with ideas of how to help your kids look past their fears.
That’s why, in honor of “National Make a Friend Day” I have teamed up with a number of amazing authors to offer our e-books for FREE!
From 2/7/2024 to 2/9/2024, you can download 17 e-books for FREE!
Here are some other ways to help your shy/socially anxious children:
(1) Set an example: Be friendly, approachable, and empathetic when you meet others
(2) Discover Shared Interests: Help your child find common interests/hobbies with their classmates or neighbors, making it easier to start conversations and bond over shared interests (My book “My Shyness Won’t Stop Me: Amara Makes Friends” emphasizes this point)
(3) Arrange Playdates: Set up playdates with classmates or neighbors providing your child a comfortable and familiar environment to make friends at their own pace
(4) Role-Play: Pretend to be a student in your child’s class and practice initiating conversations
(5) Encourage Active Listening: Teach your children the importance of listening attentively to other, encouraging them to pay attention to others thoughts and feelings to deepen connections
(6) Don't Force: Be mindful of your child's feeling and don't push them to play with someone if they don't feel comfortable. Let them know you understand their feelings and that you will give them space and time
It's also very important for kids who are more outgoing to understand that there's absolutely nothing wrong with their shy friends. Shy children are just as fun to hang out with. Encourage your children to make friends with everyone and remind them to show empathy and patience towards those who might take a bit more time to open up. Diversity in personalities is what makes our friendships unique and enriching, after all!
Celebrate “National Make a Friend Day” by doing just that – make a friend!
And don’t forget to download these amazing stories for your children to read.
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